Thursday, December 7, 2017

It All Makes Sense: Eat This For Christmas

If you don't gain a significant amount of weight during November and December, I don't like you. With that being said, there's a recipe for pound cake that will make you ask why you even came to in the first place. (More on that later.)

Food is comforting to me. It's my vice. When I am low, I eat. When I am happy, I eat. When I am confused, I mindlessly eat. Whatever my mental state, I eat. The only time I cannot eat is when I'm in the middle of writing a book.

While listening to Rachel and Marc tell me their sides of their love story, I lost about five pounds. There is no such thing as listening and eating, not when two people are about to break up, and smoke is coming out of your keyboard as you write their opposing views.

So, when you read What If You're Over My Sh*t? you are experiencing a significant event in my life: It's one of the only times I wasn't eating. With that being said, after I finished writing What If You're Over My Sh*t? the first thing I did was eat. And what did I eat to gain back those five pounds I lost? 5-Pound Pound Cake.


•    1/2 teaspoon baking powder
•    1/2 teaspoon fine salt
•    5 eggs
•    3 cups plus more for pan all purpose flour
•    3 cups sugar
•    1/2 cup vegetable shortening
•    1/2 lb (2 sticks) plus more for pan butter
•    1 cup milk
•    1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 350 °F.
With a mixer, cream butter and shortening together. To the bowl, add sugar a little at a time. Then, add eggs, 1 at a time, beating after each addition. In another bowl, stir dry ingredients together then add to mixer alternately with milk, starting with the flour and ending with the flour. Mix in vanilla. Pour into a greased and floured tube pan and bake for 1 to 1 1/2 hours, until a toothpick inserted in the center of the cake comes out clean.

Why Are We Afraid To Have It ALL?